Jane Austen Quote of the Week 114

Yesterday I experienced something that made me recall this famous quote uttered by none other than Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley. Pride & Prejudice Volume 1 Chapter 11, when Darcy was confronted by Elizabeth in Netherfield (thanks to Pemberley for the direct quote):

"I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. -- It is I believe too little yielding -- certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. -- My good opinion once lost is lost for ever.''

Darcy is - surprise, surprise - never my favourite Austen hero. But I can understand how his good opinion "once lost is lost for ever".

I was tempted to follow Darcy's track yesterday, as I clashed with a friend of mine over something of utterly no importance to him, but utterly important to me. The 'war' escalated yesterday afternoon until I decided that I did not have to like him, for I had tried to trust him and the trust was often violated. To my angry eyes, he had failed miserably and I could not trust nor like him anymore. The friendship to me is over; and I just have to be civil and polite to him, but minding my own business onwards.

This morning though, I talked to him (he's my housemate) and we finally reached an agreement about something very important to me and many women (household management), and he was willing to negotiate his schedule to shoulder his share in the house. We became civil again and talked a bit. War is over.

But then I also realised, I still don't have to force myself to like him. I just have to learn to live with him and his quirkiness, hoping that I won't have to bend too many of my principles in the future (his cleaning habit is not the only habit of his that disturbs me).

Is my good opinion of him lost forever? I have no idea. I am trying to make more rooms for him, giving him a second chance if you'd like to call it...for everyone does deserve a second chance. But I also understand that I deserve to own my emotions and opinions too, and although I will try to be patient and indifferent, I will also embrace my emotions wisely if they come again.

Hope you all have a peaceful and blissful weekend.

Pic: Elliot Cowan as Mr Darcy in 'Lost in Austen' (he's actually my favourite Darcy, if any!)