|Jane Bennet (Rosamund Pike) nursed by Lizzy (Keira Knightley) in PP 2005|
Sunday, 31 August 2014
Sunday, 17 August 2014
We received a very interesting email a couple of weeks ago from a man who owns the former church of St. Oswalds in Fulford, York, England. His garden is the former grave yard and he emailed us to tell us that there were two mid 19th century burials in this graveyard, captain Anthony Lefroy and his wife Elizabeth.
We have touched on Anthony Lefroy, Tom Lefroy's younger brother, before in previous quotes but here are some details below. Anthony Lefroy was born on October 19 1777 and became a Captain in the 65th Regiment, the commission being purchased for him by his Langlois great-uncles. Anthony had a love match marriage in 1798 to Elizabeth Wilkin, she was considered undesirable due to her lack of fortune and the Langlois family refused to provide any further financial assistance. Tom Lefroy was eventually able to obtain for his brother the position of Barrack-Master, first in Arundel and later in York, where this branch of the family therefore remained. One of Anthony and Elizabeth's sons, Thomas Edward Preston Lefroy (1815-1887), married in 1846 his cousin Anna-Jemima Lefroy (daughter of Anna Austen and Benjamin Lefroy. Anthony Lefroy died on September 7th 1857.
This story has always been interesting to us as the marriage between Anthony and Elizabeth was in 1798, this is the year that Tom Lefroy would have still had very strong feelings for Jane Austen. Given that his younger brother had married a woman of no fortune and gone against the families wishes, it would have been very difficult for Tom to also cut himself off from the family too, he would have felt a huge responsibility to "marry well" given that his second younger brother (Benjamin) was still 16 years old.
The email received recently stated:
"He was indeed the master of nearby Fulford cavalry barracks, but I have no more information regarding his tenure. The grave consists of a huge thick slab of stone
surrounded by railings. There is a full inscription of who he was and more
importantly, who his father was. It is said he married without the support of
his family, especially his rich uncle Benjamin and subsequently lost the
support of his family. Perhaps this explains why he remained in obscurity as a
lowly captain when his brother achieved greatness. What is sure he remained true
to his wife and they stayed together until his death - she died only a few
We have asked whether a photograph can be sent with the inscription and we will be sure to post it if we do receive.
I think that this story demonstrates that true love and following your heart always wins in the end.
Sunday, 10 August 2014
|Hayley Atwell as Mary Crawford, Mansfield Park 2007|
I received an email a few days ago that brought me disappointment. It was announcing the result of a long-awaited funding proposal result, which turned out to be negative. It was the second time I tried for this donor, and I still failed. I do see that their arguments in rejecting my proposal were valid, and I am determined to improve it for the next time. However, I am still disappointed.
Then I looked for Jane Austen's advice for disappointment, and I found this below, from Mansfield Park chapter 5. I think Rachel has posted this quote a while ago (spoken by Mary Crawford), but since it resonates with my heart at the moment, I choose to repost it here.
"...you see but half. You see the evil, but you do not see the consolation. There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere."
I hope if you do encounter disappointments, you will find the silver lining and move on. Try again, or try another thing, and move on.
Sunday, 3 August 2014
|Keira Knightley as Lizzy Bennet (PP 2005) having a walk|
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
Sunday, 20 July 2014
|For MH17 with love|
I once posted this quote below in September 2010 as a sign of respect to a friend of a friend. Now, it seems - sadly - I need to post it again here. It's not even the turn for a Tom Lefroy quote (FYI, Rachel and Linda), but I cannot help it. I need to post this quote here again...
From The Memoir of Chief Justice Lefroy page 386, the young Tom Lefroy (son of Thomas Langlois Lefroy) recalled the last moments of his late father’s life.
To the last he retained a cheerful and patient endurance under suffering which often elicited the astonishment and admiration of those who attended upon his sickness. I remember in his last illness (only two days before he was taken from us), after he had spent a very wearisome night from want of sleep, and great oppression of breathing, we closed the window-shutters in the morning, in the hope of his getting some sleep; just then the physician for whom an express had been sent, arrived from Dublin. After feeling his pulse, the doctor asked whether it would annoy him if the window-shutters were opened for a moment, when he replied with a cheerful smile, “not at all, doctor, I always like to have light thrown upon a subject.”
Thomas Langlois Lefroy welcomed the last moments of his life with great courage and - dare I say, peace. I wish, I hope, it was also the case for the 298 people onboard Malaysian Airlines MH17 that was shut down over eastern Ukraine last Thursday (17 July 2014). Those lives that ended too short, too cruelly...
I certainly have my opinions about that matter, including who the responsible party is. But here, I just want to extend my prayers, that in their last moments, those innocent lives on board the plane were in peace. That they were courageous, and even if they were afraid, calm and peace immediately took over, and they left this world swiftly, in bliss.
And for their loved ones who remain on Earth, may they find warmth, love and support within them and all around them to continue living, as those who left them would have wanted them to. That the bodies of their loved ones be returned home a.s.a.p. for the final respectful rest they deserve.
And for us all who remain here, may we find the love, forgiveness and courage to work together for peace. True peace and harmony based on understanding and respect, not just so that we have no conflict.
Friday, 11 July 2014
I hope you have all had a good week.
This week I realised that I have been working really hard with little thought for myself and no time taken to relax and reflect. I always seem to be chasing my tail rather than actually stopping and enjoying the moment. It led me to consider what I love and what makes me relax. Music is the best remedy to any stress, and the best tool to relax both the body and the mind, and make you happy. I was thinking about Emma and dancing and I found this quote from Chapter 38:
"In another moment a happier sight caught her -- Mr. Knightley leading Harriet to the set! Never had she been more surprised, seldom more delighted, than at that instant. She was all pleasure and gratitude, both for Harriet and herself, and longed to be thanking him; and though too distant for speech, her countenance said much, as soon as she could catch his eye again.
His dancing proved to be just what she had believed it, extremely good; and Harriet would have seemed almost too lucky, if it had not been for the cruel state of things before, and for the very complete enjoyment and very high sense of the distinction which her happy features announced. It was not thrown away on her, she bounded higher than ever, flew farther down the middle, and was in a continual course of smiles."
It of course helps if you are with a partner who can dance! This point in the novel is one of the turning points for Emma and Mr Knightley.
Have a calm weekend, and take some time for yourselves to do what you love.
Pic: Emma and Mr Knightley
Sunday, 6 July 2014
Sunday, 29 June 2014
|Anthony Head as Sir Walter Elliot, BBC|
"Westgate-buildings!' said he; "and who is Miss Anne Elliot to be visiting in Westgate-buildings?--A Mrs. Smith. A widow Mrs. Smith,--and who was her husband? One of five thousand Mr. Smiths whose names are to be met with every where. And what is her attraction? That she is old and sickly.--Upon my word, Miss Anne Elliot, you have the most extraordinary taste! Every thing that revolts other people, low company, paltry rooms, foul air, disgusting associations are inviting to you. But surely, you may put off this old lady till to-morrow. She is not so near her end, I presume, but that she may hope to see another day. What is her age? Forty?"
Well, thank you, Sir Walter, for suggesting that life is no more for a forty years old woman. I am very grateful that I live in the 21st century where we women enjoy not only a more equal education and opportunities, but also freedom to thrive and reach for our dreams in our forties. In fact, I am forty years old now, and I enjoy being at my current age.
And I'd like to know what Sir Walter would say had he had the honour to meet our dearest Linda, who is still galloping around the USA despite being much older than him. Linda dearest, what would you say to dear Sir Walter if you have the "honour" to meet his modern version?...I'm sure you will give him a good piece of your mind.
Wednesday, 25 June 2014
Sorry for the delay in posting.
I have recently been doing an introduction to counselling course and it has been really eye-opening for me personally. We have covered very basic principles such as active listening and questioning but becoming conscious of these things and how we use them in everyday interaction has become really interesting.
I chose to look at communication in relation to some of our favourite novels and I was considering which characters are best to quote. My first is Lydia Bennett as she always has made me chuckle at her inability to listen and her total inappropriateness in communicating. The second quote is a favourite extract on this blog - the letter from Frederick Wentworth to Anne Elliot in Persuasion.
From Pride and Prejudice Chapter 39 Lydia Bennett is talking to Jane and Elizabeth and demonstrating her total lack of tact and comical communication.
``Now I have got some news for you,'' said Lydia as they sat down to table. ``What do you think? It is excellent news, capital news, and about a certain person that we all like.'' Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other, and the waiter was told that he need not stay. Lydia laughed, and said, ``Aye, that is just like your formality and discretion. You thought the waiter must not hear, as if he cared! I dare say he often hears worse things said than I am going to say. But he is an ugly fellow! I am glad he is gone. I never saw such a long chin in my life. Well, but now for my news: it is about dear Wickham; too good for the waiter, is not it? There is no danger of Wickham's marrying Mary King. There's for you! She is gone down to her uncle at Liverpool; gone to stay. Wickham is safe.''
The next quote is the perfect love letter from Frederick Wentworth to Anne taken from Chapter 23 in Persuasion. I used this for a valentines quote this year but I love it so using it again! Our other references on the blog have omitted the first line but this time its the most pertinent part related to communication. As part of the counselling training we have had to do numerous role plays just active listening with no use of language, it is so difficult, but incredibly effective to nurture a person to speak. Frederick Wentworth is feeling the frustrations of not being able to say what he is thinking and in this scenario it is magical when he does.
Pic: Anne Elliot and Frederick Wentworth